Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Trouble at Mill

Nights like tonight make me really appreciate that it is a shared journey: the ultra athlete and the other half. Which one is more important I don't know. I hope there is a bit of ying and yang. One can't live without the other.

My entry in the MDS 2013 currently lays in doubt. I have found out in a few short hours that my wife hasn't bought into this as much as I originally thought. I could rescind my entry and join the multitude of men that go down the pub and get smashed.

Quite simply I do these events because of two reasons: my Mum and my legacy.

For those who know me, my mum has always been, and will always be, my motivating factor. Whenever I complete an event, course or education I always go home and present my mum with the certificate or medal. I love my Mum, what boy doesn't, but in my case it's more. In my case its about survival and hope.

In my adult life I have had to live with quite deliberating depression. Some people have understood, others haven't; their loss. Part of the reason I love these challenges is that it is me against the elements. Survival of the fittest. You either roll over and die or you fight. I have always chosen to fight.

One of the reasons the Brecons run was so tough was that at the time I was in the grip of a severe depression but I chose to run 52 miles. Yes, I wasn't as good at it as I could but I beat it. And, yes I went home with my medal.

The legacy bit is that there are, and will be countless, people like me. Depression is the last taboo. Hopefully Obama's re-election will help us move to a world that the rights of marriage, despite sexual orientation, are universal. The last frontier will be mental health.

I have always won my battles because of hope: hope that tomorrow will get better, hope that people will understand and hope that on my death bed I have done my best.

Mental strength is separate to mental health. Yes I might not be 100% every day but I know the days I am 70%+ I am better than most.

Tomorrow is a new day. I hope its better than today. I fight on toward the goal of making my Mum proud once again...

Bring on the MDS!!!
 

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